by By: Sarah Novitsky
THE DIAGNOSIS
TikTok has been the culprit of many buzzwords, or as some call it, “therapy-speak.” One that has piqued my interest lately is the parasocial relationship.
A parasocial relationship is defined by dictionary.com as “a relationship that a person imagines having with another person whom they do not actually know, such as a celebrity or a fictional character.”
The critics of TikTok often bash therapy-speak for going through a flanderization cycle. However, I believe that “parasocial” is exempt from this phenomenon because parasocial relationships are a disease that social media exacerbates.
I see the parasocial relationship everywhere. I’m a victim myself.
Where does it come from? How do we stop it?
THE CAUSE
The parasocial relationship can exist whether the celebrity wants it or not. However, the strongest parasocial relationships come from the perfect breeding grounds:
- The celebrity gets personal (sometimes to an extreme)
- This mainly comes from engaging on social media
- The celebrity acknowledges and engages personally with the fans
- can refer to them as friends or even family
- Sprinkle in a little us vs the world mentality
Voila! The recipe for a parasocial relationship.
The perfect example of this is the cultivation of the Swifties. Taylor Swift is the master of the parasocial relationship.
From the very beginning, Swift connected with her fans in an intentional way using social media. In the very beginning, she would use her MySpace page to promote herself and her music. Throughout her career, she has used Tumblr, Instagram and TikTok to interact with her fans. She has even personally invited fans over social media to visit her home for listening parties while baking treats and mingling in a very private setting.
Swift also uses her music to get personal with the fans. Some songs include names, places and references. This way, fans are able to piece together who or what the song is about. As any Swiftie knows, her songs detail personal feelings and details that are discussed at length on social media forums. Therefore, the Swifties feel as though Swift is their best friend, because Swift is quite literally telling them things only best friends would talk about.
THE SYMPTOMS
Parasocial relationships have some benefits. The Swifties are known for being ride-or-die, leading to Swift soaring in popularity and gaining accolades.
Unfortunately, the downsides range from annoying to downright dangerous.
Parasocial relationships cause:
- Entitlement: Fans feel as though because they feel so close to the celebrity, then they deserve something. This could be new content churned out at an alarming speed, or a statement regarding drama, a tragedy, or politics. If the fans don’t get what they want, they start to become hostile and angry because they feel as though their “friend” has let them down.
- Encourages Isolation: Fans can become so addicted to the online discourse and presence of their adoration that they can start to lose sense of reality. This can lead to prioritizing unhealthy aspects of their life and pushing away real responsibilities.
- Stalkers: Fans can start to feel as though they have the right to know their idol’s every move. There have been a multitude of instances of fans stalking airplane routes, breaking into houses, etc.
More discussion on the negative effects can be found here.
THE CURE?
For now, I don’t see the end of the parasocial relationship. With the prominence of influencers who use parasocial relationships to boost their career, it seems that this disease is not going anywhere anytime soon.
But as a reminder to all (and myself): step away from social media every so often, especially when you start to feel the effects.
I really enjoyed reading your post about parasocial relationships! As someone who engages with and follows many celebrities and influencers on social media, I can absolutely relate to the concept of parasocial relationships and know of some that I have in my own life. Artists like Taylor Swift are a perfect example of these relationships because we feel like we get know enough content from them in the media to believe that we know them despite the fact that they are ultra celebrities who we really do not know at all. It is so true that this can cause harmful dynamics, particularly when it comes to things like entitlement to things like content and stalker behavior that breeches privacy.